MaRipo$a’$Weblog
My ThOuGhts AnD JoUrnEy of LiFe

Mar
15


Because the world is the way it is, you can never truly say never. There is a possibility for anything that we can conceive of. Likelihood is different, but possibility is endless if we open ourselves to it. The human mind is funny that way. If the mind opens itself to thinking that something can happen, it may or may not. If we close our minds to things, there is no way it will ever happen. We can’t make things happen, but we can make them POSSIBLE.

Like anything else though, humanity needs to have reinforcement in order to keep dreaming… If you find dreaming and aspiring succeed, you are more likely to dream bigger and accomplish greater. If you don’t, you’re more likely to stop and give up dreaming all-together. If you achieve your goals, you set new ones. If you fail, you get so tied up in what-ifs and regrets you think in the past rather than the future and your life gets hollow.

Dreams provide that thing in the future that you strive for that gives life purpose. How can anyone live without dreams? Without something to strive for, what is life but breathing, passing the days until you die? All of the saddest people I know don’t have dreams, or keep failing at achieving them

Our regrets stem from letting ourselves down, from failing at things we believe we should have been able to accomplish, all other things being equal. Regrets can fill you, especially when there aren’t enough dreams to keep you focused ahead, rather than behind. It’s hard to consider how to get somewhere in the present if you’re always playing what if with the past.

It’s tragically funny to note that although people say that as long as you’ve tried your best, you will never have regrets even though that’s not true. You can try your best and still regret someone else’s decision. For example, do you think that although the firefighters at the World Trade Center did their best, that they do not regret everyday the people they didn’t get out?

The only way around regrets is understanding our own limitations, and the limitations of others. If you can be comfortable with your own failings, then you can live a life not beset with regrets. Of course, the more you fail, especially when you have tried your hardest, the deeper and harder regrets cut. People don’t pay enough attention to dealing with regrets in their life, in making amends for their perceived failures. Regret can kill you.

Understanding is gained through deep introspection and effort and work, right? Nope, understanding comes in lightning bolts of clarity, leaving impressions like oil spots on the retinas of your mind.

Sometimes, something just clicks into place and there you are. Sometimes it takes longer for the lightning to strike, but it’s always surprising. It’s not like putting together a thousand-piece puzzle and seeing understanding take shape. Everything is a huge jumble, right until that last gear snaps in, and finally your cube has all the colors on the right sides.

In the end, the real funny thing is that understanding can often be more dangerous than not understanding. There are many days that I wish that I could go on with my life not having learned many of the things I know now.

Why do we pursue understanding when it comes to us whether or not we want it, and it flees from us when we most desperately need it?

People always say that the first thing that anyone must do is to know themselves. To understand the core of themselves and how they act.

In that, most people never truly know themselves because they have never been at the bottom of the hole, looking up to the light above. We can only know ourselves when we are at our darkest, at our weakest. What we choose to do when we feel we have no option, when we are beset by choices we would rather not make is what defines us.

Our heroes are those who do what we wish we could when beset by challenge and adversity. Our villains are those who react in a way we find to be abhorrent. Most of us fall somewhere in between.

But how we react is always a surprise. That is why we can never truly know ourselves until we are faced with moments in the mirror of adversity.

Strength comes in many forms: mental, physical, emotional. Each of us is blessed with some of each, in varying ratios dependent on our natures. Whether it is the power to lift 300 pounds or to withstand the most horrendous emotional pain. In its most simple iteration, strength is our own ability to withstand pressures, great and small.

We find strength attractive in others, especially if the other person possesses a type of strength in which we find ourselves to be lacking. Maybe that’s Darwinian, maybe that is not. We find our greatest strength in the company of others, though it’s the strength that we show as individuals that is most impressive. Maybe that’s all because we are defined by our strengths and our weaknesses in times of adversity, both for ourselves and for others.

Strength can be gained, no matter what type. The more you pressure you undergo, the stronger you become. However, like anything else, the amount of suffering, if beyond your capacity for it, can do more harm than good. The unfortunate thing is that because others can grant us great strength, they can also cause us great suffering

Lots of people are lovers but aren’t friends. Lots of people are relatives and aren’t friends. Lots of people work together who aren’t friends. You can appreciate or admire someone, but that doesn’t make them a friend. Friends are part of what makes life worth living.

We’re relatively casual about the word, but sometimes things happen that take the casualness out of it. If someone begs off when you need help, sorry, that’s not friendship. If their attitude is “for better or worse,” if they stick by you through thick and thin, that’s when you can tell it’s friendship.

Most people use the term Friend far too casually. But if they had reason to pause, to think if so and so is really a friend, they would realize they either don’t know (the relationship hasn’t been tested), or they are not.

Friendship is not about always being nice, or agreeable, far from it. A friend will tell you when they think you’re full of shit, but always says it that way, never as a statement of fact. It’s a fine but important distinction. If I say “you’re full of shit” to a friend, it must be understood that this is my opinion only. Further, it’s more likely that they are not the one who’s so full of it, it’s more likely that I am. That’s why I cringe when someone, in the name of friendship, says this to me. Usually they’re wrong, but there’s no point arguing, they’re in some kind of trance, pedaling hard to avoid looking at something they desperately want to avoid.

I’m wary of supposed friends who tell me they know what I need to do to straighten my life out. They’re full of shit. Always.

Love is like a sandcastle…building it takes a long time, but it only takes few seconds to demolish it. Love is like the wind: you can feel it, but never quite catch it. Love is like standing in a puddle of wet cement, the longer you stay, the harder it is to get out; and even when you think you’re out you always find you’ve left your shoe behind.

Love is about creating happiness, not being happy. Love is letting go of the one you love, hoping that they will come back to you when they realize what they have lost. Love is looking at someone and knowing that even if you can’t be with them, you feel happy because they are happy with someone else. Love does as it will, regardless of your logical choices. It comes and goes as it pleases, not as you please.

Love is not measured by how you feel, but how you make the other person feel.

Feb
17


Yesterday,was a very momentous day. We didn’t expect that such a beautiful day would be bland with morbidness. I started the day right, eating the proper breakfast, walking which is my daily exercise, laughing with friends and free from any worries of not doing anything.

In this world, there are so many ifs, buts, and maybes. We aren’t really sure of what will come, what is the consequence of something we had done, or what is the result in choosing or making a decision. To me, saying my ifs, buts, and maybes is like enveloping myself with the warmth of a dream and unreality.

Dreams are, yet, uncertain.

And even if how hard we try to reach these dreams, we aren’t sure of how far would we reach or how long could we hold on. There is still, in a matter of fact, the thing called “hope”.
I would like to share a poem to you, despite the fact that I’m hurting and I’m not in the ‘trans’.

There’s Always Hope


You sat in your room, you began to cry,
You didn’t know how, you didn’t know why,
Things were bad and it wasn’t fair,
No one to talk to, nobodies there,
All you can do is feel the pain,
if it doesn’t leave you’ll go insane
you walk to the kitchen pull out the knife,
the only way out is to take your life,
your room is dark but you do not fear,
it’s long before you leave from here,
away from this world, from the dark,
you pull the blade down ready for the mark,
when it touches your skin you close you’re eyes,
you feel the blood and it causes surprise,
you feel not the pain of the blade in your skin,
you feel only warmth coming from within,
your mind begs to do take heed,
but you open your eyes, very quickly indeed,
you look at you hand, the knife is still there,
all you can do is question and stare,
there is a hand underneath the blade,
you patience does begin to fade,
you want it to end! you press down,
you push the knife to the ground,
the hand in front of the knife does go,
and a wider trail of blood from it does flow,
you stare in awe, you look up and see,
the hand belongs to that of me…
Feb
06


They say that only time can heal all the wounds of a broken heart. That time makes it easier to accept the lost of the people we love. It is a chain that all of us go through, falling in love, getting hurt…getting hurt and vowing not to love again. Promising not to love again and becoming miserable all our lives. It isn’t easy getting up on our feet after a cripting fall, but there is just no other way but to stand up and move on. Nobody wants to become unhappy all his life. All of us know how love could bring magic into our lives. Have you ever realized how good it felt waking up in the morning knowing that somewhere out there, there’s a person also thinking of you, and feels exactly the way you do. Doesn’t it feel good, looking forward to be with that person and spending memorable moments with him. Love brings joy beyond compare and that warm and sparkling glow in each of us. Love brings us to the top of the world, where we can conquer just about any obstacle that may come along our way. It is a great feeling love is. There is probably nothing else in this world that can compare to this. There maybe many of us who feel that love has passes by and finding someone who can share our lives with, seems to be such a remote possibility. We watch trains go by as time swiftly drifts away from us. We maybe in control of our life, but we feel that somewhat helpless in our relationship. There is nothing permanent in this world and not even those we cherish would be with us forever. There is no guarantee that comes in loving, There is always a risk getting involve with someone, but it is a risk that we have to take, if we want to find real happiness. For there is no gain without pain, there is no permanence without commitment and there is no lasting love without constant sacrifice. The tragedy of love is in getting hurt, the tragedy of getting hurt is in not wanting to love again and the tragedy of not wanting to love again is in being alone all of our lives. If is not what we want to be, then we can just stay in our shell and be miserably forgotten. But if it is love we chose and there is a promise of a new life. The joy of being able to share that life with someone and the hope of finding something beautiful and keeping it forever.

Feb
03

Time will come, due to some biological or spiritual or even metaphysical reason, we fall in love. Corny as it may sound, we have to accept the fact that we have to undergo those foolishness just to be happy… or sad in the end.

Our heart starts beating for a reason — and the reason is someone.

From that point, we live our lives thinking… dreaming… hoping. We do things in accordance to the source of our happiness.

We let our beating hearts beat a rhythm that “the reason” would love to hear… to feel.

But time will pass… the beating slows down … rhythm fades…
our heart grows tired… of loving … of feeling.

Reciprocity counts. It is hard to love and remain unloved forever. The rhythm and the beat will eventually stop!

… until it would find another happiness, another source.

… until it beats for another reason, another person.

… till the heartbeat will be reciprocated with another heartbeat.

… until one will be loved back.

How do you tell your heart to stop beating? For a Reason? For a Person?

Jan
30

7 reasons not to mess with children.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.
The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him “.

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”
The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, Thou shall not kill.”

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.”“Yes,” the class said.“Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”
A little fellow shouted,“Cause your feet ain’t empty.”

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:“Take only ONE. God is watching.”Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

Jan
29

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what
makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you, as you
deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends”.
A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
Don’t settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t
stay because you think, “it will get better.”
You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not
better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you
any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you,
speak up.

Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man’s behaviour.* Change comes from within.

Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are… even if he
has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borr ow someone else’s man.
If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending…compromise is two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships…there is nothing cute
about baggage… deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you…a relationship
consists of two WHOLE individuals…look for someone complimentary…not supplementary.

Dating is fun…even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes…when men always know where you are, and
you’re always readily available to him – he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother’s house. Never co-sign for a man.

Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you
need.* Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other women and men (just so they know)… You’ll make
someone smile, another rethinks her choices, and another woman prepare.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and
an entire lifetime to forget them.

Jan
25

Marriage is such a hard institution to be in. Anybody who gets married for the wrong reasons thinking that it will fill some gap in your life or solve your problems are in for a rude awakening down the road.

At the same time, it can be the most wonderful thing in the world, if it’s a healthy one. I would do it in a heartbeat, with the right girl, because aside from the shitty times that almost always will come, I’ll enjoy it because I will be in love and I will do it for the right reasons.

Marriage is hard because you have to work on it to be able to sustain and nurture the love.

You have to deal with the stress of surviving.

People get married and forget that the romance needs to keep going.

They take each other for granted and take the love for granted. It’s fucked up.

Usually you marry someone because you love them, but you forget along the way to do whatever you can to sustain the love, so the bond will deepen. If one is trying, the other should be trying just as hard.

Isn’t that what marriage is supposed to be like?

A marriage has to be a joint effort.

I don’t just mean the household chores and whatnot.

I am talking about the tender moments, the hand on the small of the back and the hand holding.

Romance seems to fly out the window as soon as the ring is placed on the finger.

It doesn’t work like that. I mean it’s not supposed to work like that.

Marriage is a life long commitment.

You stand before your GOD and make a solemn vow to love, to cherish ’til death do you part.

Did you notice an important word there?

CHERISH.

If a couple does not work at their marriage, how the are they going to cherish it?

Do you know what I believe is one thing that dooms a marriage?

If the couple are not friends. Friendship within a marriage is so important.

If you can’t laugh together, how the hell can you share together?

You can’t.

You need the trust that develops between friends.

You need the communicative interaction that friends have.

If you ever get married, make sure that you not only love the other person, but you LIKE them, as well.

Don’t forget to not only love them, but SHOW them.

We all, as humans, crave words of praise and love.

We also crave the physical acts of love.

Marriage is hard work, but if you can hold onto the love and the friendship, you have a wonderful future in front of you.

You have someone that will always be beside you, during good times and bad times.

Just some thoughts…

Jan
24

LIFE.….can be stressful , happier , and fulfilling
if we remember one simple thought :

” We can’t have it all – but God gives all that we need.”
God didn’t promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
Disappointments are like road humps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Don’t stay on the humps too long. Move on!

When you feel down because you didn’t get what you wanted, just sit tight and be happy, because God is thinking of something better to give you.

When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means. There’s a purpose to life’s events, To teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.

You can’t make someone love you, All you can do is be someone who can be loved, The rest is up to the person to realize your worth.

What the heart gives away is never gone, it is kept in the hearts of others.

Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risks.

Secure a special place in your heart, a certain place only you can enter. For there will come a time when you need to find yourself and only your heart will show you the way.

The measure of love is when you love without measure. In life there are very rare chances that you’ll meet the person you love and loves you in return. So once you have it don’t ever let go, The chance might never come your way again.

It’s better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride. We spend so much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.

When you truly care for someone, you don’t look for faults, you don’t look for answers, you don’t look for mistakes. Instead, you fight the mistakes, you accept the faults, and you overlook excuses.

Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take their place. Friendship is like wine, It gets better as it grows older.

Five rules to be happy.

1. Free your heart from hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less.

Jan
20

I’ve heard people apologize for being in love with another.
I’ve heard people apologize for circumstances which block
their path to fulfilling a love.
“Love is never having to say you’re sorry.”
I’ve heard that saying before.
Maybe it was in a song or a half-assed quote.
Maybe it was something that my mother told me,
or possibly, all three.
I don’t feel that love you give to someone
has to be apologized for.
Never say you are sorry after telling someone
you love them.
If you apologize for giving someone your heart,
you are apologizing for being who you are.
If someone tells me that they love me, I embrace that,
even if it means that I cannot return the deep
level of love they hold for me.
It is the highest compliment that someone can
give to you when they tell you that they love you.
It means that someone believes you are worthy of being loved.
I am not shy when it comes to telling someone that I love them.
However, they are not words I use lightly.
While it doesn’t always represent a romantic love,
it does signify that you possess fantastic attributes
and I respect you incredibly much.
I don’t like apologizing for telling someone that I love them.
It gives the impression that I am ashamed of loving someone.
I am never ashamed of something like that.
The apology toward circumstance isn’t necessary either.
We can’t help who we fall in love with.
We weren’t given a manual on the does and
don’ts of love when we were born.
There are going to be people in our lives
that we will fall in love with.
They might be going to live far away or
they may have the inability to spend forever with you.
It may be that they are married and
have a family which they cannot possibly leave behind.
Yes, I know.
Don’t fall in love with a married person, but like I said.
You cannot stop love from happening.
It’s going to happen whether you fight it or not.
Since you can’t help who you fall in love with,
why apologize for it?
It doesn’t make sense to me.
Remember…
“Love Is Never Having To Say You’re Sorry”… ever
!

Jan
19

It is not an easy decision to end a relationship–most especially a marriage.
And if children are involved,it is an even tougher decision to make.
There are bitter realities one must face despite the many compelling reasons to end a marriage.
Aside from a financial burden of going it alone,
there is a long and lonely road of raising children as a single parent–
a decision you will probably second-guess for the rest of your life.
You will always probably wonder what might have been and if whether or not,
you made the right decision not only for yourself but for your children.
And then there is a social stigma of being separated,of having been party to a failed marriage,
of having somehow been responsible for breaking up a home- because you made the decision to end your marriage.The guilt of marking your children for life, you will always
carry because your children will also carry the stigma of belonging to a broken home.
And yet despite all these bitter realities,you must ask yourself whether
or not you can continue to stay in a marriage where love has gone and fear,
pain and hopelessness have taken root.
There is a line in every relationship neither party should ever cross.
Despite your vows to love each other forever,for better or for worse,
some things should remain inviolable.One’s dignity and self respect,for example-these are non negotiable.
Once these are systematically taken away from you,you should not stay–no matter what is at stake.Abuse exist in more relationships than you think.Abuse does not have to be physical to be damaging,psychological abuse is just a destructive and debilitating.
Many battered women never make it out the gates of their gilded cages.
Without the financial and emotional support of their families,there is no means of escape.
As such,they are compelled to develop survival mechanisms that allow them to cope with lifelong abuse.Sometimes,these women are lauded for their forbearance.
But the applause is misplaced.These womens are not saints,they are victims.
Through the years, they are able to dramatically increase their threshold for pain.
But through the years, they also lose their capacity to say “STOP – enough!
“After a while,what they are “used to”becomes “normal” becomes right.
Many people stay for their children’s sake.
But at some point in your suffering,you will have to ask yourself if your staying in the marriage
is actually doing more harm than good to your children.
You cannot be so naive as to think you are alone in your suffering.
your children suffer too,sometimes in silence and often in confusion.Worse,when you lose your moral compass–your capacity to know right from wrong,so will your children.
When your sanity or safety is at stake,there is no reason to stay–not even for the children’s sake.Many decisions we make,we will probably always second – guess your decision to secure your safety and the safety of your children.